So, it has been over a year since my last post. To be honest, it was disillusion, depression, and a plethora of other factors that kept me from writing this. Words are truly inadequate for depicting experience, and all they tell are open to interpretation and rarely perform justice, so I will refrain from life summary.
Anyways, needless to say I have already fallen out of the habit of scaring myself. That isn't to say i haven't matured over the past year. I can now look people in the eye without feeling like a volcano of bile (ha, my writing may hopefully improve as we progress) but I am still self-confined to spending the majority of my day in front of the computer, watching movies and looking at funny posts.
You come to a point where thing stop scaring you and eventually just end up frustrating and exhausting. I have had plenty of time to philosophize (I have done little else, just streamlined thoughts endlessly it seems) and it is only a matter of time before everyone wakes up to the truth.
I was talking with my brother earlier today, and he proclaimed that the competitive corporation formula was the way of the world, and the most efficient at that. This is simply because this is all he has been taught. But philosophers like to question everything, and I like to think there's a little philosopher in us all.
Has not cooperation proven to be more effective than fear and cut-throat tactics? Instead of collapsing the structure which you build yourself upon (other people), working together refines the foundations and strengthens the whole. Holistic perspective is the next step in psychological evolution, and we are getting there, at our own pace.
Apologies for that digression (I love that word...)
My goal for this week is to go out every day. I used to do so in the hopes of having some human contact, but after a while of everyone refusing to open up or even respond to my greetings, I had lost hope. But hope, I have come to know, I perhaps the most persistent feeling. You can bury it under two thousand tons of pain and self-hatred, but it still lingers, still presses you to turn yourself around, to keep fighting, even if it's just a sputtering ember. Just realizing it's there and embracing it can return it into an inferno.
So keep reaching out to one another friends. Part of overcoming fear is extending a hand to help others do the same. Maybe one day we can live in a world without suspicion, and only pure love, even for someone you just met. Maybe that's the utopia so many religions promise. I would care to find out.
Until next time,
Namaste, P&L
D
